


The Sound of Pain

by essenceofheroism



Category: Bellarke - Fandom, The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, The 100 FF, bellarke ff - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:31:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4546755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/essenceofheroism/pseuds/essenceofheroism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Season 2 finale, when Clarke leaves after her self-exile, Bellamy feels alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sound of Pain

Most people might answer that pain sounds like the shatters of a scream. The unearthly growl that rips through their throat in the dead of the night is the sound of pain, they might say. Another might suggest that pain sounds like the broken, shaking sobs of a shattered soul as his shoulders shudder under the weight of his sorrows. 

Bellamy Blake, although, was not most people.   
To Bellamy Blake, the sound of pain was silence.   
Utter and complete silence. An inhuman silence, the kind that buzzed in your head and created robotic hums in the white draped room of your mind. The silence that carved a cave in your bones so that every lingering memory and every face you ever loved and lost reverberated against it until a lost tear slipped down your cheek in the curtain of the stars without a single sound. The same silence that set you on white, hot fire and at the same time, chilled you with an icy lick that froze your very being and slowly, destroyed you. The kind of silence that only loneliness could beckon. 

Bellamy ached to scream at the cruel sky. He wanted to scream and howl and wanted the ability to take his pain and release it with a beautifully shaking crescendo so that the sky shook and the moon cried at his misery. He wanted to be able to cry out loud, to let himself shatter so that this numbness may allow him release.   
He wished to scream.   
He wished to scream her name. 

“Clarke." 

His voice cracked and that clog down his throat stiffened at her name. He couldn’t scream, he couldn’t cry, he could just parade around this ugly, burned land with a plastered smile and a numbness coating his veins. 

We'd walked in heroes but we came out killers with blood staining our victorious fingertips. 

She was gone, God knew for how long, but she was gone. And he just felt so hollow.  
She'd pressed her lips against his face and he'd known, he'd known that he'd made a mistake. He should have stopped her right then and let his lips utter her name and then pressed them against hers after he'd tell her how she lit him on flames. 

Clarke wanted to save everyone...  
She stained her soul forever so that her people may live.   
Brave Princess. 

But who saved her?  
He did. He wanted to, at least. He wished to go searching for her in those abominable woods, and he’d tried. Miles of empty land stuttered below his sunken eyes. Sometimes he heard her in his head, heard her everywhere as he trudged alongside the guards for evening duty. Bellamy’s eyes ached as he saw just smiles, smiles of everyone who'd gotten whoever they’d lost back and he wanted to rip them off. Viciously and slowly, to make them bleed like he felt he was bleeding. He’d loved and he’d lost her. A hot fire danced inside him, white hot agony dripping through his very being, coating the memories of her that he’d etched into his mind. 

He loved her. Hell, it was more than that. It was this constant hunger inside him that growled. This lustful beast that wouldn’t sit still without crying for his wounded self. Tonight, Bellamy closed his eyes as he lay stretched on a cold, empty bed. 

I can’t lose you too, she’d said to him once.  
He’d lost her.   
Clarke was gone.  
His heart burned for just one whisper from her lips, just a single word from her in his dreams, just a simple breath of “Bellamy.”

But tonight, like so many nights before, he was granted with complete and utter silence.  
And that, Bellamy thought, was what pain sounded like after all.


End file.
